Habit
by MizzSamCullen
Summary: Edward Masen left Bella Swan a while ago, she wasn't sure how she would go on. Every Friday the day she would go to a club. When Edward comes back, and Bella is addicted to going there. How can she stop? Rated M for mature themes and language.


**This is pretty much my first fanfic****tion on this website, so far. Of course, there'll be more where this came from. Wink wink.**

_I'm gonna make you bend and break  
Say a prayer but let the good times roll  
In case God doesn't show  
And I want these words to make things right  
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life  
"Who does he think he is?"  
If that's the worst you got  
Better put your fingers back to the keys_

The lyrics of our song flew themselves into my ears. I shuffled around on the barstool, uncomfortable. Of course I wanted to get out of there, but I was talking to a hot guy and I didn't want to let it go to waste. Damn it. It really sucked how every time I went to a club someone would request this song. I felt like stomping over there and demanding that they changed it to something else. Of course they would kick me out, because, if they said no, I would most likely jump on the guys back and rip out his hair.

_One night and one more time  
Thanks for the memories  
even though they weren't so great  
"He tastes like you only sweeter"  
One night, yeah, and one more time  
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories  
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"_

I shuffled around again, the song was ripping at my heart, and the guy was staring down my shirt. I forgot his name, so I just sat there, and every time he asked me a question I answered it. Of course I never said his name, just because I didn't know it. Maybe he didn't even tell me… He waved his hand in front of my face. Did he ask me a question? I didn't hear him… oh god no, this always happens.

"Bella? Um, are you there Bella?" Oh, so that was his name, Jacob. Ew, I did not like that name. But what names did I like… I only liked one name, and it was depressing to even remember it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was sort of in a daze, did you ask me something?" I tapped my foot on the ground, waiting for him to ask me it again. He nodded and grinned,

"Do you wanna come over to my place later; we seem to have a lot in common…" My eyes grew wide; one night stands were not my thing. I shook my head quickly,

"Um, I'm not really that kind of," Insert stutter of your choice here. "Uh, girl… and…." He nodded, thank goodness he understood. I didn't really want to go home with a guy tonight. I wasn't looking for a one night stand. I was looking for a long term relationship. Or a guy named- never mind.

_Been looking forward to the future  
But my eyesight is going bad  
And this crystal ball  
It's always cloudy except for (except for)  
When you look into the past (look into the past)  
One night stand (one night stand off)_

Me and him, well not me and this Jacob guy, me and my old boyfriend, we met at club, and he brought me home. For a supposed one night stand. Then we decided we loved each other and… well you know what comes next, right? That's my other reason for not wanting to go home with any guy. Ever, ever again. It would hurt much too much. The guy waved his hand in front of my face again. Or, Jacob, whatever.

"Bella? Hello?" He said, worriedly. I must have been bright red, blushing. I was in a daze again, wasn't I. "Uh, I gotta go." He stuttered. My eyes grew wide, oh no he didn't.

"Oh, please don't go! Uhm, I'll go home with you!" Wait, did I just say that. Oh god, I wish I didn't. His face lit up and he turned back around.

"Really?" He asked, hopefully. My eyes, wide as melons, stared at the ground. I smiled and looked up at him, putting on my sexy innocent girl look.

"Sure." I purred. He grinned, and took my hand. I looked back and prayed to god he would change his mind and say he didn't want me after all.

**JacobPOV**

Holy crap! Did she just say yes? I stared at her, and looked down her body, yeah she was good enough. I was hoping for someone more sporty, but she would do. I grasped her hand in an iron grip and dragged her out the door. Ooh, I was scoring tonight. She seemed to be as bright as a tomato as she got into my car, and looked at the backseat. It was covered in blankets. I bet she knew what those were for.

Did she want to go for it in the backseat or something instead? I blinked slowly, and said, "Do you wanna do it here instead, or something?" She shook her head, no. Oh, I nodded slowly. And jammed my key into the slot. Ahh, I bet she couldn't wait to get home too.

**BellaPOV**

_Oh god no, oh god no. God help me! I don't wanna go home with this guy!_

**JacobPOV**

_Yeah, I know she wants me. _I think quickly, we were almost home, no problems, she didn't look sick or anything. She didn't drink anything, so I was sure she wouldn't vomit on me when we were in bed. She only drank diet coke, and water. The freak. Why did she go to a club if she didn't want to get drunk? Ooh, maybe she just went because she knew she was going to meet me. Good idea Jacob, that's definitely what she did. Oh god, I can't wait to get home.

I pulled into the driveway, and walked over to her door. I didn't feel like opening it for her, so she just opened it herself. She got out of the car and stared wide eyed at my crib. Sure, it looked rundown, but who cares? It's good enough for me. And I'm damn sure it's good enough for a whore like her. I mean, look at what she was wearing, wait… is that a fucking real diamond?

Holy shit, it is! Maybe when she gets undressed I can steal it from her. That's a good idea, and then I'll score in two different ways. I stared at her bag in wonder; did she have condoms in there? I didn't own any, I'd gotten at least 20 girls pregnant in the last 2 years. How many girls a year was that. Too bad for science, I'm horrible at math. Wait, does that make sense? Damn it, why did I drop out of high school anyway? I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"Want one?" I asked her, and held out the pack. She shook her head. I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath of the cigarette. I breathed the smoke out in her face. She coughed and turned her head away from me. What, she didn't like it? What kind of fucking whore was she? Usually all the whores I scored with loved the smell of my smoke. Party pooper, damn that sounds childish. Fucking innocent whore. I laughed to myself and she stared at me, puzzled.

"What's so funny?" She asked me, damn it, did I laugh out loud? Now I got to answer her, god damn it.

"Nothing, I'm just laughing about how damn sexy you are, but still you're single." Most of that was a lie. She was pretty sexy, but that wasn't why I was laughing. I was laughing because she's an innocent whore. God damn her.

**BellaPOV**

Why the hell was he laughing? Was he laughing at me? What I was wearing? He threw the cigarette on the ground and stomped on it, no doubt he was to die soon. We walked into his… house? And he walked me into his bedroom. My eyes grew wide at the sight before me. There were girls panties practically hung from everything. Did this guy collect them or something? I for sure as hell wasn't giving him mine!

"You know, that song that was playing in the bar is practically our song now, you know?" He said. I gulped, but that we me and… _his_ song. No, it was not! Then he began singing it, and I nearly died, "_They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers in hotel rooms collecting page six lovers get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood, whoa. _Totally, that'll be our song, Bella." None the less he sang the line about sex! God, no. That was his favourite line, that was his favourite song. That was our song, not me and Jacobs. I was out of here,

"I have to… go to the bathroom." I stuttered. He smiled and pointed at the door. There were used condoms on the floor everywhere when I walked in. I was frightened, actually. Thank god we were on the bottom floor. I opened the window and climbed out. He was actually right down the street from me. I shut the window and ran, fast, back to the bar. I wasn't going to my house, I needed my car! Thank god I took my bag with me. I didn't want to leave my money with him.

I ran down the street, the bar was right in front of me. Luckily he wasn't coming after me or anything. I hopped into my truck and zoomed down the street. Damn him, I didn't need him, I didn't need anyone. Except for…

I pulled the picture out of my bag slowly, oh god, how I missed him. "Edward…" I sobbed, the tears rolled down my face. Oh god, oh god, my heart ached. My chest raised and fell. He always loved me, he always wanted me. He wanted to marry me. He swore to me one day he would come back. But he didn't. He didn't and I knew he wouldn't.

He needed to help his mother. His mother was dying. So I followed him, but he wasn't there. I asked his father where he was. And he said he didn't know. From then on I was so downcast I would call him everyday, wishing he would answer, wishing that he was there to call me back. One day I got the horrible news in the mail, on the newspaper. His mother had died; I visited her grave everyday, to see something Edward had left. I would grasp it to my chest and pray to god he would come back.

It made no sense, he said he loved me. He said he would marry me. He said he cared for me. He said he wanted me so much he swore it scared him sometimes. It frightened me too, how much I needed him, how much I wanted him, how much I loved him. I recently got an email from him. He said he was so close to breaking his fixture on staying near his father, that he would come home to me, but who didn't believe him but me, I was stupid, I told him. I told him I wanted him back very badly. I told him I would find him. He replied 3 months later, and told me something horrible.

_Dear Bella, my love,_

_I love you more than anything else in the world, I want you to be with me, trust me. I want you back so much, but I'm sorry, I'm not sure I will be coming home. I know you know how I feel, when your father died, you were so sad, you ran to me. But because I wasn't sure if you were strong enough to see me like that. I ran, I ran to my father, like a little child. I want you with me Bella, but I'm not sure I can. I love you so much; do you remember when I swore I would marry you? I will some day, I promise I will. But for now, we're stuck emailing. I'm so sorry, love. I wish you were here with me. _

_I love you,_

_Edward_

I stared at the note in silence; I had printed it out when he sent it. I stapled a picture of my and him, our happy selves, together. He had the happiest look on his face, and I looked so glad, I was sure I was about to burst. He would send me online, a picture of him each month. So that I could see how much he wanted me with him.

I would cry each time. I would sob. I would drench my clothes in tears. It was too much for me to see, so I saved them on the computer, printed out one of the pictures, and ripped it to shreds, I bit it, and I scratched it. I screamed at it, I was so sad I took out a knife and stabbed it. Then I realized what I had done, and my heart burnt.

Every single Friday I would go to a club instead of getting so sad. I would dance around, for no reason, get drunk, and act like the Bella I was when Edward was here. But then the other days I was so depressed me friends called me a freak. I stopped hanging out with them immediately. It was too much for me to handle.

I threw my head back on the leather interior I loved. I slowly opened the door and stared at my house. My father was rich before he died, so all of his money went to me, his life, Bella Swan. I bought the house, or mansion, which was what the people who sold it to me called it, when my father died. Like, immediately after. Well, after I was done mourning. I lived in his house until I was over it. I'm still not over it, but who cares. I still wanted to live in a house by myself, all my life, even. Then Edward moved in, and his smell became what I looked forward to come home to everyday after he left.

I walked up to the door, keys and purse in hand, shoved the key in the slot, turned it sideways, and pushed the door open. His smell blew itself into my senses. Ahh, it was good to be home. I ran over to the bar I bought, and grabbed a glass. I filled it all the way up with his favourite wine. Delicious. I never really paid attention to the names of the wines he liked. I just paid attention to the fact if he even liked them at all. Tonight I was making lasagne, his favourite. I liked lasagne too… but it wasn't my favourite. My favourite food was mushroom ravioli, what I had on our first date. It was delicious, truly. The wine slid itself down my throat; the burning flavour reminded me of him.

But not just because of the way he burnt my heart.

Because of the fact that he burns, in every way.

And I really don't care at all. I walk into the kitchen and stare at the pictures I put up on the wall. It was too much to handle. I couldn't go anywhere. There was a picture of him everywhere. No, no, no! I was dying, I knew it, and I was going to have a heart attack. My heart was broken, I knew it. Someone should call an ambulance. I ran out the door, over to the mailbox. He had to have sent me something, had had to!

I pulled the lid open and stared at the contents. A magazine, a note from my mother (no doubt asking me 'how I was'), a lingerie catalogue… and a letter… from him.

I was so grateful to god; I got down on my knees and thanked him. I ripped the note open and cleared my throat, reading it to myself,

"_Dear Bella, my love,_

_I'll be returning soon, I've found the strength to be with you again. I hope you can't wait to see me, no really, I'm kidding love. I love you so much, and I promise as soon as I get home, I'll marry you. I will, love, I promise you._

_Love,_

_Edward._" My eyes grew wide, did he mean it? He was coming home; I jumped up and ran into the house, screaming. My boyfriend! My amazing boyfriend, he was coming home! Oh my god, I had to prepare everything! I had to call him! I had to ask him when he was coming home! I had to make sure he meant it!

I had to marry him.

No doubt, I had to. It was not a decision, it was an answer. He was going to marry me. He was not going to ask me. He was going to say it; he was going to say, 'Bella, I'm going to marry you.' And that's all I needed to hear.

That, and the sound of wedding bells.

**So, how was it? I hope you loved it! I'll be continuing this, definitely. Can you wait?**

**I'll settle for just a few reviews, I'm not picky.**


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